What happens at that edge as you prepare to meet someone else’s?
Now – there’s people I dislike and people I care about and it’s the latter category that abuts my edge. I daren’t open an email but have to brace myself for hours – sometimes days – to sneak a look at it, because it might hurt! Often I have a sixth sense – I feel the mood of the person behind it…and I tread cautiously for a reason. Gurdjieff writes about our inner horse – easily startled – nervy and reactive – that we are not in charge when we are prey to reacting like this. And yet we have to care for ourself as that flesh, blood and spirit animal.
Truly we don’t actually control it, but can soothe it, respect it and own it as part of us.
I am that horse and others have seen that in me. It easily bolts. It needs a compassionate and sensitive rider that anticipates its needs and loves it without whipping it.
It is my ride out of here and off to new lands, if only I can treat it right.
Having read yesterday about the work of the Starfish Project http://www.thestarfishproject.org.uk/ right on the edge of Europe and in Chios specifically made me think this might be a good place to start catching edges. Perhaps some volunteering is in order…entirely for selfish reasons of course!
…I had a thought…if I spend my whole life looking for some sort of approval for something from outside, I’m actually going to spend my whole life living by someone else’s set of standards, how limiting is that….
Certainly am failing with this WordPress site
Active imagination is vision quest
So today, at the end of my MSc and back into the business world… where what I’ve learnt may be useful… but until I learn greater agency, doesn’t stand a chance.
I wanted to cry this morning. And being a woman I thought – hell – I should cry. Women do! It’s what we need!
When I woke up this morning I had a thought – and one I’m going to hold myself to….I’m going to write a book – no two books – no three books! OK – well at least one!
The first idea is catching edges – capturing that space between things…between you and me, say, or between business and art or between male and female (that edge should be fun!!). I’m going to photograph, interview, draw and write all about that ‘third’ place – the ecosystem that occurs at the boundary – the touchpoint of two other ecosystems. According to Permaculture it’s a fertile, diverse spot!
It’s a place that hurts actually – but then it is also surprising and energetic.
I’ll want your thoughts too.
And…what about the people who live right in that boundary – the refugees on the edge of Europe say? And then…what about the moment between life and death, night and day – the crack between the worlds (Castaneda)?
It’s rich, rich, rich!
The second will be a little book all about failure and the wonderfulness of it. I even wrote a poem about it this morning:
How creative is failure?
It frees me from your rules
and brings me into mine.
It brings me into edges
Mine, yours, theirs
And edges are powerful things!
It frees me from having to succeed
It freshens me up…
It makes me start afresh
It frees me from the rule book
Failure lets me be me
And…..the third book is a children’s book – but I’ll keep that one under my hat!