29th January 2017
Some things are going on hold 10 days or so. My half started blog ideas such as ‘Why Food really is Love”, for the fatties like me failing on my New Year’s diet, and my long intended “Cosmology and Astrology” blog exploring the actions of Chiron’s cycles– these slip back. I cite these as a shopping list of ideas to come back to. The most alluring for me is an exploration of what the proper feminine alternative to Mindell and Castaneda’s don Juan’s ‘warrior’ archetype might be. The warrior is alert, stalking, patient, disciplined. I think the feminine is far more cyclical, gentle and natural to me – and yet just as effective in its own way. Life is burningly, achingly, interesting. All the things I have seen as my failings are suddenly about something else – and a thing I wish to explore – my femininity. And, given our society’s need to balance in favour of the feminine, this feels a legitimate and valid – even a needed – exploration. Wow – promise silently exhales, hardly daring to breathe.
But for now I am crossing edges in new ways that are both challenging and needed: I am learning about stuff that matters to other people (and you can be sure there is valuable, and maybe even surprising, learning there). Yesterday I learnt about Lightsabre fighting, Sith v Jedi. This took me to an edge I noticed. It’s not my thing at all, yet, in the end I had fun! We walked back to our friends’ house to Wassail apple trees under the evening star – resplendent Venus at the brightest I have ever seen her, her red brother Mars a compact warrior up to her right. Today I am writing with music so as to not be on my own (I never do this) and on Wednesday I am flying across the Atlantic with my newly qualified Day Skipper husband to support him as crew in a 40 foot sailing yacht in the British Virgin Islands, relying on my ICC training aged 13 and 14, my husband’s knowledge and many ‘how-to’ books. It could be a bumpy ride for the next few days without solid ground much under my feet and I can’t even begin to imagine what this experience might be like.
So I am signing off here as I cross into new territory –utterly blank – as a creature of the earth off to explore sea and air.